Baseball: A Sport or a Place to Take a Nap?
by Christopher T. Brons

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They call it “America’s Past Time”. Well, I submit to you that the reason is because it has truly passed. Now, before some of you get offended because I have stepped on your toes let me explain.

  1. Offense vs. defense: You have one guy on offense hitting a ball to nine guys on defense. Most of who are simply standing in the sun trying not to get a farmer’s tan. You have a bunch of guys standing in the outfield thinking to themselves, “Geez, I sure wish the ball would come to me so that I could actually move.”
  2. There are over 150 games a year. Now tell me the truth, why is it that you need so many games to decide who the best team really is. Let’s knock that down to 20 games where you play one time a week. Then every game you have to come with your best game. You are not simply thinking, “Well, I still have 125 games to go. I can slough off on this one.”
  3. Each team plays at least five times a week. Of those five times each pitcher will start maybe once. This is the guy who is making all of the money. And for what? Most of the time he is what would be called in every other sport – a bench warmer.
  4. The next reason applies to every sport except for football and the NCAA tournament. Best of seven series? What are these people afraid of? Bring your “A” game the first night. What is the deal with, “Well, we weren’t the best team tonight but that is okay. We still have six more games to play to decide who the best team is.” Obviously you are not the best if you can’t win the first time. And if you do come back and win the series then neither team is worth a dime.
  5. I have an idea: let’s play most of our games during the day so that nobody can watch them and all of our stadiums are mostly empty. In fact those who do come are those who are either skipping school, called in sick to work, or lied to their spouse to get there. Where is the sense in this scheduling?
  6. Strike 1…strike 2…ball 1...ball 2...ball 3...foul ball...I mean hit the ball already. How many chances are you going to give these guys?
  7. A designated hitter. Now this truly is a joke. “Let me go out there and throw this ball at your head, but your team can never retaliate against me because I never have to hit the ball. I have someone who does the job for me.” What?
  8. The American League has a team called the Toronto Blue Jays – The American League? Toronto Blue Jays? What is wrong with this picture? Oh that’s right Toronto is in Canada yet it is in the American League. Smart thinking Major League Baseball.
  9. Here’s another great idea. Let’s have an All-Star game. We will invite all of our “best players”. We will charge the fans tons of money to come to the game. We will drag (literally) the game out for eleven or so innings, and then we will have some guy say that the game is simply over. No winner. No thank you. Nothing.
  10. And finally a bunch of overweight men saying that from this point to this point is a strike. Only problem is: they all have a different point to point. Translation? Umpires are the game of baseball. They make up the rules as they go, and if you tell them you don’t like it you get fined – big time.

Ten simple points. Trust me, I could have kept going without skipping a beat. How would I sum up what has been written here? It is simple: In my book baseball is a strike-out!


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